


inhale to the top of my lungs (i’ve been dying for this)

by poetictragedy



Category: Big Time Rush RPF
Genre: Hair Pulling, M/M, Oral Sex, Outdoor Sex, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-13
Updated: 2012-10-13
Packaged: 2017-11-16 05:21:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetictragedy/pseuds/poetictragedy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James is tired of being the “nice guy” so he tries to change it up. He transforms himself into a bad boy and starts smoking. Of course, he’s not very good at it and he learns that Logan used to smoke; so, he asks his friend for tips on how to look “cool” and he gets a little turned on from watching Logan smoke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	inhale to the top of my lungs (i’ve been dying for this)

**Author's Note:**

> Pretty sure this is the first Jagan fic I ever wrote and it probably sucks. Also, any and all spelling/grammar errors are my fault. I don't have betas and I probably skip over some stuff.

For three years people have called James the sweetheart of the band; the guy that anyone could take home to their families and they would all fall in love with him within seconds of meeting him. He didn’t mind the compliment at first because that’s what he always thought he was: a compliment. As the band got bigger and more popular, the small courtesy became James’ nickname and now he fucking hates it. Hates the damn thing because, on most days, it’s completely true.

It only takes one more person calling him a sweetheart to make James snap and decide that he’s done being the sweet one of the group. He decides to shed his good guy persona for something different, something badder and more rugged. James has tried to do that once before but it fell through when he realized that he was just too damn young - and ‘sweet,’ as a disc jockey would point out in a later interview - to be as bad as he was trying to be.

Now that James is older, however, he understands things better and he knows exactly how he can shed his “sweetheart” skin and trade it in for something that’s tougher, more badass. 

The transformation starts off with a change of wardrobe. James puts all of his old clothes away in case he changes his mind - and he has a feeling he might - to make room for the new ones. Black jeans, t-shirts, shoes, leather jackets, Doc Marten boots, and more grungy clothing than he knows what to do with. Overall, he’s happy with the clothes he bought and a thrill passes through him whenever he looks at everything he bought.

After the new wardrobe comes a new haircut and James decides to stay on the safer side and he just trims his hair, gets bangs swept to the side. It’s a better look on him than the long hair he’s always been sporting and he can’t stop playing with his hair, even three days after getting it cut.

There’s another thing James picked up on his way to being a bad boy and that’s smoking. He never really thought about it before - other than thinking how bad it is for you - but now he’s ready to try it, just to see what the buzz is all about. For two days, James stays at his house and practices smoking; the first handful of times are hard and it feels like something is searing the inside of his lungs. 

James gets the hang of smoking - without coughing or choking on a lungful of smoke  - after the second day and he feels like it’s a perfect time to show the band the new and improved James Maslow, bad boy extraordinaire. He puts on a new outfit and grabs a pack of cigarettes, sliding the pack into the back pocket of his ripped black jeans. 

After grabbing a leather jacket and sliding into it, James pull his Doc Martens onto his feet and lazily laces them up, pulling the ends of his pant legs down over the top of them. He gives himself one last look in the mirror, eyes sweeping up and down his own body, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. In addition to the jeans and the leather jacket, James is wearing a tight black The Clash shirt and his hair is (purposely) messed up, going a dozen different ways.

Fifteen minutes later, James is in his car and he’s driving to Carlos’ house where the boys were meeting up, heart hammering in his chest. To calm himself, James grabs a cigarette and puts it between his lips, letting it hang there loosely as he looks for a lighter. Half a minute goes by and James finally grabs a lighter, igniting the end of the cigarette before inhaling deeply. His lungs still feel like they’re on fire but he doesn’t cough, so that’s a plus in his book.

James hasn’t gotten the smoking-while-driving thing down and he flicks ashes onto his pants a few times, cursing loudly around the filter as he tries to wipe them away. By the time he gets to Carlos’ house, James has sufficiently managed to burn a hole into the thigh of his jeans (from dropping his cigarette when someone cut in front of him) and he’s feeling nervous as hell.

Getting out of his car is easy but it’s the walking up to the front door, knocking, and waiting for his friends to answer that’s the hardest. He swallows thickly, fumbles with the flaps of his jacket for something to do before shoving his hands into the pockets, listening to someone’s laugh on the other side of the door. He gives Carlos a grin when the door opens and he moves a hand out of his jacket, dragging it through his hair slowly.

“Hey,” he says, dropping his hand away and letting it swing by his side.

“What —” Carlos stops himself, shakes his head, and looks James up and down for the first time, arching a brow at his outfit. “What’s gotten into you?”

James huffs and looks down at his clothes, shrugging. “Nothing, I just wanted a change of wardrobe, is that a crime?” He looks up at Carlos and chews on the edge of his lip, tasting tobacco and smoke on his skin.

“No, it’s not a crime.” Twisting his mouth up at the corner, Carlos flicks his gaze back to James’ face and tries to smile. “Come on in,” he finally says, pushing the door open more before stepping back to allow James to come in. “Everyone’s in the kitchen.”

“Kitchen,” James parrots, nodding his head as he makes his way through the foyer, his boots clacking against the floor. The sound makes him more nervous and he’s nearly shaking by the time he gets to the kitchen, both Logan and Kendall turning to look at him when they hear his footsteps. “What’s up boys?”

“Nothing…” Logan drags the word out, brows drawing together as he stares at James, opening and closing his mouth before pursing his lips.

Kendall grins at James and he can feel himself blush. “What’s up with all the black?”

“I just wanted to mix things up, that’s all.” James rolls a shoulder and comes forward, slipping his cigarettes out of his back pocket before tossing them onto the counter.

“Dude,” Carlos says, glaring at the pack.

Raising a brow, James turns to look at him. “What?”

“Smoking,  _seriously_?”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Only about a million things,” Carlos replies, arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t want you smoking in the house, you know.”

James nods and sits on a stool next to Kendall. “I won’t, promise.”

“So, smoking.” Logan grins at James and he rolls his eyes. “What brought that on?”

“Just wanted to try something different. Be  _something_  different,” he replies, rolling a shoulder again as he reaches out for the pack, pulling it close to him. Damn, he really wants to go outside for a cigarette right now.

Logan chuckles and nods, snatching the pack away. “I used to smoke,” he says, flipping the top open to look at the filters, running his finger along the butts.

“Really?” is the first thing out of James’ mouth and he blinks, blushing as he bites at the fuller part of his lip, licking across it. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for a smoker,” he adds, folding his hands on the table as he watches Logan close the pack.

“Yeah, it was before Big Time Rush.” Logan shrugs and tosses the cigarettes back at James, grinning broadly. “I didn’t figure it was important enough to tell you guys and I had already stopped when I auditioned for the show, anyway.”

Swallowing, James nods and grabs the pack, opening it to take one out. “Well, I’m going to go outside for a smoke. Anyone want to join me?” He puts the cigarette between his lips and glances at his friends; Kendall says no and Carlos shakes his head, face twisted into some disgusted expression that speaks volumes.

“Alright, suit yourselves.” James pushes off the stool and heads to the backdoor, opening it slowly before stepping out. He pulls it shut behind him and moves to sit down on one of the lawn chairs, groaning quietly as he rummages through his jacket pocket for his lighter.

When he finds the lighter, James cups a hand over the end of his cigarette and  _flicksflicksflicks_  until it ignites. He pulls his hand away and shoves the lighter back into his pocket, curling his fingers around the filter as he takes a long drag. It’s like someone’s lit a fire in his chest but James is used to the burn now, accepts it even. 

James pulls the cigarette away from his lips and rests his hand on his knee, looking down at the glowing orange tip. He bites at his lower lip and brings the cigarette back to his mouth, taking another long drag before nearly choking on it when he hears the door open and slam shut.

“Dude, are you alright?” It’s Logan’s voice filling his ears and James nods, smacking his chest with his non-cigarette hand. “Don’t die on me,” Logan says, laughing as he pulls a chair up beside James’, running a hand across the middle of his back.

“I’m - good,” James wheezes, coughing one more time before leaning back into Logan’s touch and letting his eyes slide shut. He flicks his ashes blindly and stays still for a moment before leaning forward, sitting on the edge of his chair. “So you used to do this, huh?”

Nodding, Logan moves his hand away and slips it behind his head. “Yep, it was my worst habit but sometimes I miss it,” he admits, bringing his left leg up to rest on his right knee.

“Do you have any tips on how to —” James trails off and bites his lip, turning to look at Logan before continuing, “— to look cool with doing this shit? Or how to  _not_  feel like I’m going to die with every pull?”

“I don’t know how to do the last one but,” Logan leans forward and grabs the cigarette out of James’ hand, “I can teach you how to look cool while you’re doing it.”

James swallows and nods, turning in his seat more. “Thank you,” he says.

“No problem.” With a smirk, Logan flicks the ashes off the end and brings the cigarette to his lips, wrapping them around the filter. All James can think of when he sees this is how good Logan looks with something between his lips; he’s pulled out of his thoughts when his friend’s cheeks hollow.

The tip of the cigarette burns a bright orange for a moment and James’ lips feel too dry and chapped, so he licks them again. He watches as Logan pulls the cigarette away slowly - _so_  fucking slowly - before letting a billow of smoke come from his mouth. Logan’s lips are barely parted, forming a slight o, and James fidgets in his seat, eyes locked on his best friend’s mouth.

“See?” Logan says once all the smoke is gone, his lips curling up into a smirk. “It’s not that hard to look badass while smoking, even if you don’t feel like you are.”

“Could you show me again?” James asks and when Logan stares at him, he blushes and nibbles on the edge of his lip nervously before asking again. “Please?”

Chuckling, Logan nods and flicks his thumb against the butt of the cigarette, watching as the ashes fall to the ground before bringing it to his lips. This time, he takes half of the filter into his mouth and sucks down hard on it; his cheeks hollow out more than they did before and James thinks that may be the hottest thing he’s ever seen.

After a moment, Logan pulls the filter away and holds the cigarette out to James, who takes it, albeit numbly, as he watches the smoke roll from his friend’s parted lips. When the smoke is all gone, Logan grins and makes a ‘now you’ motion until James is following his command, doing everything he saw Logan do.

And it feels different, smoking the way Logan showed him, and James lets his eyes close as he pulls smoke into his lungs. He holds it there, pulls the filter away from his lips, and flicks the ashes away, reveling in the sweet burn in his lungs before letting all the smoke go.

“That was definitely cool,” Logan comments, his voice amused.

“Yeah,” is the only thing James can say, his voice rough from the smoking already.

Logan shuffles forward and takes the cigarette away. “I think that’s enough for tonight,” he says as he grinds the tip out against the heel of his shoe.

“Hey Logan?” James waits only long enough to hear Logan hum before moving in to kiss him, lips claiming his in a rough kiss. He moans, unabashed, when the taste of smoke and cherries coat his tongue and he licks into Logan’s mouth with earnest, cupping the back of his head lightly.

They kiss for a moment before Logan pulls away, gasping for breath with his hands on either side of James’ neck. He chuckles quietly, swipes a thumb across the other man’s jaw, and pulls him in for another kiss, nearly yanking him over the side of both chairs.

And James responds just as eagerly; he buries both hands in Logan’s hair and twists his fingers in the locks, gripping at the roots. He’s moaning and panting against his friend’s mouth, sucking and licking and biting at his lower lip when Logan pulls away for a breath, growling deep in his chest.

“Kendall and - and Carlos are probably watching,” Logan says and, for a moment, James can’t hear him; he’s lost in his own little world of smoke and cherries and the faint taste of vodka on Logan’s lips. “Seriously, gotta move this somewhere else.”

When the words click in his mind, James pulls back and bites his lip. “My car?”

“Is your backseat big enough?”

“Who says we’ll make it inside?” James asks, grinning slyly as he drops his hands away from Logan’s hair and stands, licking his lips. He looks through the doors to see that the kitchen is empty; Kendall and Carlos are no where to be seen from where he’s standing and he chuckles. “They’re not even in there.”

Logan huffs and stands, moving his hands to James’ hips. “Don’t care,” he mutters as he leans up to kiss James’ mouth, biting at his lower lip when he pulls away.

“Come on, let’s go over here where they can’t see us. I don’t think I could make it all the way to my car,” James grumbles, pulling Logan to the other side of the yard.

When they get out of sight, James pushes Logan against the house and leans down, kissing him roughly. A hand slides along his neck and fingers tangle into his hair and, for a moment, James wishes that he hadn’t cut it so Logan would have more to hold onto. That doesn’t seem to be a problem, though, because Logan just tugs on what he can and pulls James down so he can deepen the kiss.

James’ hands go up the front of Logan’s shirt and he presses one against the middle of his chest, sliding the other down toward his jeans. He opens his mouth and presses his tongue against Logan’s, working on getting the button of his pants undone as they fight for dominance. When he finally does undo the button, James makes a triumphant noise against Logan’s mouth and pulls the zipper down, licking into the other man’s mouth.

Each moan and gasp Logan makes goes straight to James’ cock and he growls into the kiss, moving his hands down until he’s got his thumbs hooked into Logan’s belt loops. He pulls him forward and eases back from the kiss, panting as he bends down to lick a broad stripe along the side of Logan’s neck, biting down just under his ear.

“James,” Logan moans, moving his hands up and down James’ arms, sliding them across his shoulders before pushing them into his hair. “Please.”

_Please._

That one word — it nearly destroys James and he makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat, pushing Logan’s jeans down as far as he can. He drops to his knees a second later and curls his fingers underneath the waistband of Logan’s boxers, tugging them down quickly. 

James does not gasp when he sees Logan’s cock. Nope; he doesn’t do anything but stare, his lip clamped between his teeth. A hand snakes up the back of Logan’s leg and he moves it toward his cock, wrapping it around the base gingerly. Sucking in a breath, James starts stroking Logan’s cock and he looks up when he hears a gasp and a moan, biting his lip harder at the sight above him: Logan leaning his head back against the house, mouth open, and chest rising and falling heavily.

Shit. James was hard before but now it’s painful, cock pressed tight against the front of his jeans, throbbing dully. He lets out a whine and snaps his gaze back down, looking at Logan before leaning in to taste the head of his cock; he presses the flat against the sensitive skin and closes his eyes when Logan moans. The noise is deep and rough, coming from his friend’s chest, and James seals his lips around the head slowly, stroking the shaft.

“Christ, James.” Logan moves a hand to James’ hair and slips the other one to his shoulder, gripping the leather of his jacket. The breath is nearly knocked out of him when he feels James’ mouth slide down his length slowly, tongue pressing against the underside. A shudder rocks Logan’s body and he licks his lips, gasping loudly when James pulls off, the tip of his tongue dragging down the slit. “Fuck, where’d you learn to do that?”

James chuckles and moves his hand up, thumbing underneath the crown. “I’ve had a  _lot_  of practice,” he explains, just like that, before leaning back in to flick his tongue against the head, smirking at the noise Logan makes in response.

“How - how much is a ‘lot’?” The words come out soft but James catches them, rolls a shoulder, and takes half of Logan’s cock in his mouth to distract him. He nearly laughs at the sound he pulls from Logan’s chest and he tries to deepthroat him, taking as much as he can before gagging. 

Sliding off a bit, James allows himself to recover before attempting again; this time he relaxes himself and he moans when he feels Logan’s cock in his throat. He puts a hand on Logan’s hip and digs his fingertips into the fabric of his shirt, scratching at it as he starts sucking. Slow and long, hollowing his cheeks out as he pulls off, licking his lips slowly before repeating the action, going a little faster each time.

When James takes his cock all the way again, Logan moans and tugs his hair, nails scratching along his scalp. He whines when the other man pulls away but the noise fades into a groan the second he feels James’ mouth on his balls. The hand in James’ hair tightens and Logan’s body trembles, his fingers relaxing and tightening against the leather of his friend’s jacket.

“You like that?” James asks, voice low and gruff.

“Yeah,” Logan answers, huffing as he looks down. “Oh, fuck.”

James looks up and grins. “What?”

“So fucking hot,” is all Logan can say before James’ mouth is on him again, lips brushing along his balls and tongue teasing them slowly. He moans and pants, twisting his body against the building when James takes one of his balls between his lips and sucks on it lightly. “Getting - ngh - so fucking… so fucking close.”

James hums and pulls away to spit on Logan’s cock, stroking it quickly as he drops back down to mouth at his balls some more. He alternates between sucking and licking, swiping his tongue across the base of Logan’s cock occasionally before going back to what he was doing before and it… it drives Logan insane.

He can’t take anymore and he tries to warn James, tries to open his mouth and say ‘I’m coming,’ but the words don’t come out. All Logan can force out of his throat is a loud groan as he comes, hips stuttering forward and his eyes squeezing shut, the hand on the back of James’ head sliding down until he’s gripping the nape of his neck.

When Logan comes, James moves up quickly and tries to catch as much as he can in his mouth, moaning at the way his friend tastes. He cleans Logan up and settles back on his heels, waiting until the other man’s breathing is evened out before standing up. 

Once he’s vertical, James grabs the back of Logan’s head and pulls him forward, kissing him deeply and grinning at the moan that comes from Logan’s chest. He licks across the other man’s lips before pulling away and grabbing one of his hands, sliding it down to the front of his jeans.

“My turn,” James whispers, moaning when Logan gives his jean-clad cock a light squeeze. “Don’t have to blow me, just — a hand job is fine.”

Logan nods slowly and licks his lips as he undoes James’ jeans, sliding a hand into his boxers before stroking his cock quickly. After a moment, he stops and brings his hand out, spitting on his palm twice before slipping it back down and wrapping his fingers around James’ cock again. Logan’s hand slides up and down much easier and he leans in to kiss the hollow of James’ neck, biting and sucking at the skin.

Clenching his eyes shut, James slumps against Logan and pushes his hips forward, moaning his name quietly as he moves a hand up, pressing his palm against the back of his friend’s head. He snaps his hips and moans when Logan twists his wrist and strokes down, thumbing across the head of his cock when his hand comes back up.

“Come for me,” Logan says, stroking up and down James’ length quickly as he moves to bite his ear, pulling it between his teeth. That pushes James to the edge and he whines loudly, letting his head fall back, throat exposed to Logan and he takes the opportunity to lean forward and kiss his Adam’s apple. His teeth drag across it and he strokes James’ cock a handful of times before he comes with a loud grunt.

James pushes Logan back against the house and leans into him, resting his head on the other man’s shoulder as he comes down from his orgasm. He pants heavily and swallows hard, licks across his lips for what feels like the millionth time that night, and listens to Logan chuckle.

“What?” James asks, voice quiet.

Logan shakes his head and chuckles again. “Can’t believe we just did that.”

Huffing, James nods and pulls away, wrapping his fingers around Logan’s wrist before pulling it out of his boxers. He zips himself up and makes a face when he realizes that he came in his underwear. Great. That means they’re going to stick to him all the way home and that’s going to be lovely.

“Should probably get out of here,” Logan says, pulling James out of his reverie. “I don’t know about you, but I need to get cleaned up and I don’t exactly want Carlos and Kendall to know what we just did.”

“Probably heard us.”

“I hope the hell not.” Frowning, Logan bends down and pulls his jeans up his legs, situating them a little before buttoning and zipping them. “So, is this going to be a new thing?” 

James looks at Logan and raises a brow. “What?”

“The bad boy thing,” Logan answers, licking his lips. “I mean — it’s hot, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think it’s really your thing. You’re too ni —”

“Nice?” James interrupts, running a hand through his hair.

Logan bites his lip and nods slowly. “Yeah.”

“I don’t want to be nice anymore. I’m sick of being the sweet one while you’re all off being bad and sexy.”

“You’re bad and sexy,” Logan says, grinning at James. “I’m not the only one that thinks so, but if you want to continue with this,” he swipes a hand up and down James’ body, “then I’m cool with it. The smoking may be a little too much.”

Nodding, James laughs and swallows. “I’ll think about quitting,” he admits as he leans forward to kiss Logan quickly. “I’m going to sneak out before Carlos and Kendall realize I’m gone.”

“Yeah, me too.” Logan nods and grins at James, punching his shoulder lightly. “See you tomorrow, then?”

“Yeah,” James says as he moves away, heading to the side of the house, “see you tomorrow.” He smiles back at Logan before going through the fence and to the driveway, half-jogging the entire way. When he gets to his car, James starts it quickly and puts it in reverse, backing out of the driveway with one last look at the house. 


End file.
